Karen Samford

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Things About My Mother I Will Not Forget

May 3, 2016 4 Comments

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Sometimes mothers have to rein in the caring so they can sleep at night. Sometimes they have to step up to the plate because no one else will. And for that we honor and love them.

 

 

I’m sure you’ve been thinking of your mother this week. Even without a holiday prompt, you probably think of your mother often. I know I do.

The longer she has been gone, the more I think of her. Not in the “Oh, gosh I need to call her” way or “I wonder if she knows how to …” way.

Now, it’s mostly

“Yikes. I just sounded like my mother”.

That’s okay. My mother was incredible. And the older I get, the more I realize just how pivotal she was in the lives of so many.

Mothers are our core. And the core to so many other communities. If you don’t believe me, try leaving one child out of anything where there is a mother present. Or think back to the first time you were forced to carry on a family tradition without her.

As strong as the mother force they became, each of them were unique women first.

Here are five random things about the woman who was my mother:

She loved lipstick.

She wasn’t dressed without it. She wore it even when she gardened. She kept close to 100 tubes in her vanity drawer, including the first lipstick she bought as a teen. A rite of passage for every young girl in our family was nosing through Mom’s lipstick drawer.

She made our neighborhood bully cry.

Though he was as tall as she was, she got in his face and simply told him how disappointed she was in his behavior that day. She was that kind of mom.

She was still doing cartwheels as a grandmother.

I’m sure that’s where my daughter learned to do one. It certainly wasn’t from me.

She bought me two matching antique china teacups as a gift once.

She told me we would drink coffee from them when she visited, to remind us how special our time was together.

We did. And it was. I am  very selective still about who uses those cups.

Once, when she was taking us to school, she got pulled over for rolling through a stop sign.

She was wearing her pajamas.

She was mortified. But we started laughing. (I’m sure my brothers were pointing at her.) The officer smiled and told her “Be more careful”. She did not get a ticket.

Do you have a favorite memory of your mother? If so, please share it with us in the Comments section.

Better yet, call your mother and share it with her.

Happy Mother’s Day Brooke, Chelsea, Corinna, Megan, Thalia and anyone else celebrating motherhood for the first time. Now you know what to do with those few extra hours you had every week!

Read on for more Mother’s Day inspiration-

Each of these three articles spoke to me in some way.

Sometimes mothers have to rein in the caring so they can sleep at night. Sometimes they have to step up to the plate because no one else will.  And for that we  honor and love them.

No one tells you when you’re pregnant. But once you become a mother, you are not just a mother to your child. You are mother to the world around you.

I have told my kids any celebration that does not force me to wear a swimsuit will be perfect. Better ideas might be here.

I hope your Mother’s Day is filled with everything you love.

Filed Under: Miscellaneous Tagged With: grandmother, lipstick, Mom, moms, Mother, Mother's Day, mothers

Words I Wish Mom Would Say to Me Now

May 7, 2015 4 Comments

 

Words I Wish my Mother Could Say to me Now

“Did she really just say that?”

 

I remember the first time I heard my mother use this expression,

“If all your friends jump off a cliff, will you?”

She said it to my brothers, who were in trouble. I think one of them laughed. And here’s an expression to explain why—she was “preaching to the choir”.

They were boys. They had returned home late, from a day of trolling the bayou behind our house with their friends. They had probably been looking for snakes. It is possible they jumped off a cliff (or worse) just before she asked this question. They were the opposite of anyone receptive to this advice.

Still, it wasn’t the last time we heard this adage and others like it.

Mothers have issued clichéd warnings and spewed lame expressions as long as children have done what they were told not to do 10,000 times.

Desperate to make a point, save face or save time, moms have used tired (“I’m not telling you again”) and rhetorical (“How many times have I told you?”) phrases ad nauseam.

I’m sure you remember those your mother used most. You probably even have a favorite. Here is mine:

“Because I said so.”

As a child I believed this to be the hollowest of all admonitions. Gutless, in fact. My eyes rolled every time my mother said it, even if it wasn’t to me.

The first time I used this expression as a parent, I put myself in voluntary time out. But (like mothers before and after me) I used it shamelessly when the right moment presented itself. And you know it did.

The beauty of this expression is its simplicity. A child knows the meaning of these four words at any age. When tempers flare and brain cells are fried, these four words are meant to end any argument and give Mom the win.

Unfortunately, simplicity is also its enemy. Pushback comes quickly in phrases like “That’s not a real reason.” or “What a dumb reason.”

In honor of my mom and moms before and after her, I enlisted English to smarten up this timeless warning. The next time you need a conversation killer (and you know you will), elevate those four words with one of these grammar repairs. One might be just the ‘reason’ your child deserves.

 

Fix # 1:  If the situation is appropriate, substitute ‘due to’ for ‘because’.

Use “due to” only as an adjective, usually following the verb ‘to be’. Few parents think about adjectives and prepositions when faced with an insolent child. I find it helpful to keep my hands behind my back and take a deep breath. Then I ask myself if ‘due to’ can be replaced with ‘attributable to’.

Example: “The look of disbelief on my face is due to the fact that I have already given you 50 other reasons why you cannot play in the fireplace.”

‘Due to’ modifies the look on your face. A bit formal, but it fits the rule and gives the child the extra words he may need.

 

Fix 2:  Be casual, but still correct, with “because of”.

When done right, it can make even the child wonder what happens next.

Example: “Because of your incessant arguing, I have completely forgotten who you are and why I am still standing here.”  (Then walk away)

 

Fix 3:  Use “since” in place of “because.”

Though not all grammar gurus agree, ‘since’ and ‘because’ can be synonyms. Because ‘since’ beckons more eloquent words, this may also be your chance to drive home one more point and have the last word.

Example: “Since you have no other means of transportation for the next week, my previous answer remains unchanged.”

 

If you’re a mom, I hope you feel better now about some of the dumb things you say.

And if you’re remembering things your mother said, SHOUT them out in the Comments Section.*** Please don’t let me be the only crazy.

 

 

***Admitting you have used these words yourself is, of course, optional.

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Miscellaneous Tagged With: English, Mother's Day, mothers

Hi, I’m Karen

After years of writing for newspapers, I thought I had seen it all. Then came the empty nest and retirement and I realized I’ hadn’t seen anything yet.

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